underneath the christmas tree/...

Things are better now. A lot better.

So all the whining and moaning is over. I think i have my best friend back, although im on tenderhooks.

my house is under a foot of snow. And well, i dunno. i feel a little secluded. missing out on thingssss.

But im loving this build up to christmas. i need new year plans. all i care about is that my lot are all together when the clock strikes twelve and i have someone to kiss :)
agree?

Lovesss... xoxo

Oopsy daisy you hurt me again

You have to help me.

Before i break down in tears, i have to say, im finding this more difficult than the toughest of breakups.

Being so far away, and having little contact... is making me proper clam on certain..things. however, im pretty sure, well, not pretty in any sense, half sure things are gonna be ok again.

However, still gonna be a tough few days..

god i miss cuddling.

Xo

It aint what you do its the way that you do it.

God, I really do miss him.

Its getting so stupidly serious. This is wreckin' my 'ead. =P
Anyway, im just gonna live and let die really. This is all stupid.
I just miss my best friend now, that's all.

The sooner things are back to the way they were the better. That's all im saying. Cos its hurting that nothings getting better. Sure, i miss what we were like, but i miss how we were before that too. i just want to snuggle down next to him in this freezing cold weather and laugh ourselves silly at ridiculous things.

Snowing here. Snowing for you?

Love, more love than ever.

R
xoxo

poo a duck... wait, what?

I told you things wouldnt last forever.

He called it off last night didnt he? It was awful, i cried, i never cry at call-offs or break-ups or whatever this was. it was definately not in the least bit funny, and i feel like rubbish today, like ive actually been shot through the heart. to me, something so good shouldnt have ended so abruptly.

So im just going about my day, making sure i remember to breath in and out, and put one foot in front of the other. in a week maybe il just breath in and out without noticing again. Maybe.

And he said something, he was like "We'll just be like brother and sister when you come back. You are coming back arent you?" and i was thinking...well, do you want me here.

One thing i know i wont be able to do is seperate beds. i love his snoring, i love his rolling over into my face. Hmm.

he better not change anything between us other than the sinning thats for sure...

scared upset and confused is what i am.

if he reads this il kill him cos he promised not to.

Love

R xoxo

Its not quite this that i wanted

Listening to: Looking Up- Paramore

Hey guys.
Sorry its been a while. Been trying to make Connor forget that i blog.
My God guys, its been a crazy week. But im not gonna go into it in detail.

So, sinning. Thats, kinda still active. Regularly. And its damaging my morals yeah, but it just...well its just, i kinda...love..it. But to be honest with you, im away from, the house of sin or whatever, for ....2 or 3 weeks. i go back the day after boxing day i think. but im not sure. Hmm. Who knows.

I get texts daily. As im home for christmas i dont really get to go through to sin town for a while. So we are in contact.. its cute. But, to be honest things WILL change, i know they will.

I miss them. I miss Ryan too. I really do.

Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. <3 Loves

If only he knew to be fair.

Honestly, can you believe, we crossed the world while its asleep?!

Love. confused. <3

R xoxo

Brand New Pyjamas Make The World A Better Place

Well bloggers.

For the first time ever in any of my blogs we have a visitor as i sit and write. a mr Connor Wilson is sat behind me.

Lots to tell you.
Babysitting got me a fair few bob so im pretty chuffed. Few presents sorted out.

Ok so, superficial feeling type things. Sayyyy, i sinned like i did yeah? And sayyyy i sinned again, and again......and again. What would happen, no sorry, what would be your opinions and comments be on the fact that i may (or may not) feel that i have certain feelings for... things.. or people. *shifty eyes*

What if, what if i worked myself up into such a frenzy of guilt that i actually fogot that i was guilty in the first placed and sinned just to forget. Im not gonna lie. This is like a drug to me. You all have your vices, this is mine.

You have to help me. Love, lust, plain old sexual desire, i dunno. I just really really want things to be like this for as long as physically possible. On the QT obviously. This whole sinning thing wouldn't be worth it if anyone but you found out.

Help much appreciated.
Love

R
xoxo

Such a fool to love you..

Well i proper wanna know what this Just Dance Wii game is like. Im not gonna lie to you all. Maybe im just mad. Hmm

Well readers, Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat. And somehow, all i can think about, as i open my High School Musical advent calenda, is how ridiculously unprepared i am. I know what to get my boyfriend, my mum, my sister and her boyfriend, but i still need to think about my brother, my two best friends and connors mum... hmmm.

Any ideas would be really really lovely.

Im not exactly talkative today, but thats because i still have no voice. its been like this for almost two weeks... which is ridiculous. Hmm, what to do. Ive tried everything on offer to help me, but its not happening.

Again, any ideas?

So, as i sit here in my conservatory, looking out over the hills surrounding my house, some of which are topped with snow, i cant help but wonder how amazing christmas may be this year. As this year is a little more special than the others as my gorgeous boyfriend will be joining the festivities. Thats right, for the first time, i get to wake up next to someone and wish them Merry Christmas.

Question for the day -> when waking up on Christmas Day, what is the first thing you do? The very first thing.

:)

Love

R xoxo