underneath the christmas tree/...

Things are better now. A lot better.

So all the whining and moaning is over. I think i have my best friend back, although im on tenderhooks.

my house is under a foot of snow. And well, i dunno. i feel a little secluded. missing out on thingssss.

But im loving this build up to christmas. i need new year plans. all i care about is that my lot are all together when the clock strikes twelve and i have someone to kiss :)
agree?

Lovesss... xoxo

Oopsy daisy you hurt me again

You have to help me.

Before i break down in tears, i have to say, im finding this more difficult than the toughest of breakups.

Being so far away, and having little contact... is making me proper clam on certain..things. however, im pretty sure, well, not pretty in any sense, half sure things are gonna be ok again.

However, still gonna be a tough few days..

god i miss cuddling.

Xo

It aint what you do its the way that you do it.

God, I really do miss him.

Its getting so stupidly serious. This is wreckin' my 'ead. =P
Anyway, im just gonna live and let die really. This is all stupid.
I just miss my best friend now, that's all.

The sooner things are back to the way they were the better. That's all im saying. Cos its hurting that nothings getting better. Sure, i miss what we were like, but i miss how we were before that too. i just want to snuggle down next to him in this freezing cold weather and laugh ourselves silly at ridiculous things.

Snowing here. Snowing for you?

Love, more love than ever.

R
xoxo

poo a duck... wait, what?

I told you things wouldnt last forever.

He called it off last night didnt he? It was awful, i cried, i never cry at call-offs or break-ups or whatever this was. it was definately not in the least bit funny, and i feel like rubbish today, like ive actually been shot through the heart. to me, something so good shouldnt have ended so abruptly.

So im just going about my day, making sure i remember to breath in and out, and put one foot in front of the other. in a week maybe il just breath in and out without noticing again. Maybe.

And he said something, he was like "We'll just be like brother and sister when you come back. You are coming back arent you?" and i was thinking...well, do you want me here.

One thing i know i wont be able to do is seperate beds. i love his snoring, i love his rolling over into my face. Hmm.

he better not change anything between us other than the sinning thats for sure...

scared upset and confused is what i am.

if he reads this il kill him cos he promised not to.

Love

R xoxo

Its not quite this that i wanted

Listening to: Looking Up- Paramore

Hey guys.
Sorry its been a while. Been trying to make Connor forget that i blog.
My God guys, its been a crazy week. But im not gonna go into it in detail.

So, sinning. Thats, kinda still active. Regularly. And its damaging my morals yeah, but it just...well its just, i kinda...love..it. But to be honest with you, im away from, the house of sin or whatever, for ....2 or 3 weeks. i go back the day after boxing day i think. but im not sure. Hmm. Who knows.

I get texts daily. As im home for christmas i dont really get to go through to sin town for a while. So we are in contact.. its cute. But, to be honest things WILL change, i know they will.

I miss them. I miss Ryan too. I really do.

Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. <3 Loves

If only he knew to be fair.

Honestly, can you believe, we crossed the world while its asleep?!

Love. confused. <3

R xoxo

Brand New Pyjamas Make The World A Better Place

Well bloggers.

For the first time ever in any of my blogs we have a visitor as i sit and write. a mr Connor Wilson is sat behind me.

Lots to tell you.
Babysitting got me a fair few bob so im pretty chuffed. Few presents sorted out.

Ok so, superficial feeling type things. Sayyyy, i sinned like i did yeah? And sayyyy i sinned again, and again......and again. What would happen, no sorry, what would be your opinions and comments be on the fact that i may (or may not) feel that i have certain feelings for... things.. or people. *shifty eyes*

What if, what if i worked myself up into such a frenzy of guilt that i actually fogot that i was guilty in the first placed and sinned just to forget. Im not gonna lie. This is like a drug to me. You all have your vices, this is mine.

You have to help me. Love, lust, plain old sexual desire, i dunno. I just really really want things to be like this for as long as physically possible. On the QT obviously. This whole sinning thing wouldn't be worth it if anyone but you found out.

Help much appreciated.
Love

R
xoxo

Such a fool to love you..

Well i proper wanna know what this Just Dance Wii game is like. Im not gonna lie to you all. Maybe im just mad. Hmm

Well readers, Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat. And somehow, all i can think about, as i open my High School Musical advent calenda, is how ridiculously unprepared i am. I know what to get my boyfriend, my mum, my sister and her boyfriend, but i still need to think about my brother, my two best friends and connors mum... hmmm.

Any ideas would be really really lovely.

Im not exactly talkative today, but thats because i still have no voice. its been like this for almost two weeks... which is ridiculous. Hmm, what to do. Ive tried everything on offer to help me, but its not happening.

Again, any ideas?

So, as i sit here in my conservatory, looking out over the hills surrounding my house, some of which are topped with snow, i cant help but wonder how amazing christmas may be this year. As this year is a little more special than the others as my gorgeous boyfriend will be joining the festivities. Thats right, for the first time, i get to wake up next to someone and wish them Merry Christmas.

Question for the day -> when waking up on Christmas Day, what is the first thing you do? The very first thing.

:)

Love

R xoxo

so now ive started i need a rant

What am i gonna do bloggers?

It may be that i have made the biggest mistake of my life that could mess up a lot of things for me and others around me. It could make so many things crumble down to the ground. but then again, if secret, could make me very very happy.

Make me skip again.

Make me smile from across a room.

Make everything better.

Maybe.

Well, who knows? Im gonna have to shut up about this situation now as SOMEONE knows my address that i dont want to.

Help me guys.

R xoxo

I Have A.... Situation

Forgive me bloggers for i have sinned.

i cant tell you which sin so work it out for yourself.

So i was just wondering, is it ok to feel kinda bad but not completely and utterly guilty?
is it ok for there to be one complete and utter secret that you just cant tell a soul in your life?

if so, is it bad to wanna make it happen again?

Help me bloggers. In my eyes, i am an absolute idiot. i hate myself. in a way that only i can. but i love what i did and would not have a care in the world if it happened again. If however, someone found out it happened, i would not be a happy chappy at all.

Please, please help me.

Emails to my blog e-mail please.

Hugs

Roo
xoxo

this stupid love stuff

This stupid love stuff is gay.

I havent been on my blog in a VERY long time.


So, i thought id make my blog a bit more regular, a bit more relevant. It'll be more like a diary for me. But it'll make for good reading. I'll talk about things that might be relevant to you too. we'll see.

So, a new post, a new set of friends. Who most definately need introducing.

Connor
We live together every other week. So he's kinda like a brother. It can sometimes be very complicated between us. But i'll never go into that. unless i really wanna. Connor has just well, a few weeks ago, broken up with his girlfriend sarah. But she is most definately irrelevant cos shes a daft little child who needs a good beating.

Emily
Emily is a fellow blogger but we never read each others. I see her or talk to her at least once a day and we tend to have a good giggle. Me, Emily and Connor seem to spend all of our time together. She's going out with another of our friends, Chris. Emily and I tend to spend a lot of time in Connor's bed (without Connor) with everything we will need for hours around us.. watching worlds strictest parents and stupid things like that.

Chris
Chris is way more relevant in my life tha Sarah. A definate sessioner in every sense of the word. But is an amazing friend too. He was in performance studies at college with me last year.. so we know each other quite well. We hung around in the same circle of friends a few months ago. And now he's with us lot. he's around a lot of the time.

Ryan
the more important of these lot. This is my boyfriend. Uncanny resemblance to Dobby from Harry Potter when he tries to be creepy. Calls me baba. almost 5months together now. Spending christmas with us this year. Really does mean the world to me. he can do my head in. but othertimes, most of the time, he's a beautiful, outrageous, intelligent man.

Ok so, thats it. Thats my lot.




Okaysss.. so, as of tomorrow or later on today depending on how much time i get, i will update you on things that are close to my heart, as well as whats going on with these guys.

At the moment? Im icing a cake that i made at 8.30 this morning because i was bored.

Love to you all.

Roo